Unit 1

How Conflict Escalates

1. Conflict Happens
2. Beliefs and Feelings
3. Response
4. Consequences
5. 另一方的Beliefs and Feelings
6. 另一方加强对于冲突的（错误的）认识

Beliefs and Feelings

1. Person
2. Situation
3. Conflict
4. Ourselves

Conflict Model is all about Patterns and Habits. How do we change the pattern?

1. 改变自己的Beliefs and Feelings
2. 改变自己的response

The Way Conflict Escalates

教授提了一个很有意思的观点：避免冲突的方法是把问题当做冲突的对象，而不是人。

冲突加剧的等级

1. Problem-Solving/Disagreeing Well
   把问题当成冲突的对象，所以可以避免冲突
2. Personal antagonism
   把人当成冲突的对象，所以会有冲突的风险。精力用来找那个问题是he/she，而不是用来解决问题。这种态度影响信任。
3. Proliferation of issues 矛盾激化
   Case Building: 在脑海里把自己当成受害者，把对方当成加害者。
4. Trianglating (寻找第三方帮助)
   人们寻找支持自己意见的第三方，进一步加深自己对对方的负面印象。这个冲突不断加剧。
5. Escalating Reactions (逐渐升级的反应)
   People actively sabotage (妨害) one another
6. Antagonism and hostility
   双方不介意人们知道他们的冲突，有可能会发生暴力行为
7. Polarization (极化)
   矛盾双方彻底分为两派，人们不得不选边站，公司受到巨大负面影响。

大多数公司发生1-4级的冲突，优秀的公司把冲突限制在第一级，这样冲突就不会从事扩大到人身上。

Unit 2

Intent-Action-Effect Model

• Action: A comment, a motion, or an event; something that is public insofar as you can see it or you can hear it.
• Intent: The reason behind an action.
• Effect: The impact of the action on the receiver.

Meaning Making

The stories we tell ourselves about what happened, about why that other person did what they did, and most significantly, the nature of the character of the other person who did what they did.

Attribution Theory

We tend to attribute negative intent to the other, while attributing positive intent to ourselves.

How to Get Rid of Attribution Theory

• 多想想自己身上的问题，承担责任，认识到我们做一件事的真实原因，建立一个真实的自我形象。
• 建立对他人的兴趣，多看看他人身上的优点，不要错误地assume其他人的性格。

Unit 3